Kendra Wilkinson gets candid about her depression: 'I was dying' (2024)

Kendra Wilkinson is peeling back the curtain about her struggle with depression.

The former “Girls Next Door” star, 38, says she went to the hospital last September only to return a week later, when she was placed on the antipsychotic medication Abilify and attended outpatient therapy three times a week where she explored issues connected to living in Hugh Hefner’s Playboy mansion and her divorce from former NFL player Hank Baskett.

“I was dying of depression,” she told People. “I was hitting the end of my life, and I went into psychosis. I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to live anymore.”

Wilkinson, who said “Playboy really messed my whole life up,” rose to fame as one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends on the reality series "The Girls Next Door." She said her depression had a stranglehold on her, making her feel helpless.

“It was the lowest place I’ve ever been in my life. I felt like I had no future. I couldn’t see in front of my depression,” she said. “I was giving up and I couldn’t find the light. I had no hope.”

“It’s not easy to look back at my 20s. I’ve had to face my demons,” she added about her past.

Wilkinson said she has learned that it was OK to seek help.

“Anxiety and depression is real and it’s important to seek help whenever you feel like the world is caving in on you,” she said. “I thought I was strong enough. I thought I was strong enough to walk the world. I’m Kendra. I’m Kendra Wilkinson. I got this. I can walk this world. I can walk it strong. I don’t need therapy. I don’t need treatment. And I was wrong.”

Wilkinson was married to Baskett from 2009 until their divorce in 2018. They are parents to son Hank IV, 14, and Alijah, 9. She also said her insistence on addressing her problems on her own took her to a dark place before she turned to Baskett to lend a hand.

“I was struggling with depression and anxiety for so long, but I was trying to fight it on my own. I was trying to cure it on my own. And you can’t do that,” she said.

“And I hit rock bottom. I hit rock bottom by trying to cure it on my own. I was isolating, hiding, trying to — you know, blaming myself, blaming the world. There was a moment where I finally, I looked at my ex-husband and said, ‘Take me to the hospital.’ And he took me to the hospital that day.”

Wilkinson said that was a watershed moment for both her and Baskett.

“To accept help that day and for Hank to drive me to the hospital was a huge day in both of our lives,” she said.

“It was a big day for my family and kids. I didn’t realize how bad I was suffering or what people were seeing of me until I got there. I had to really look in the mirror and be like, ‘I need help.’”

Therapy has helped her realize that it’s vital to work on herself, while coming to terms with the fact that depression is something she will always have.

“I spent two months, two solid months, focusing on treatment and my mental health,” she said.

“I got on the right meds. I was going to therapy three days a week and really, really getting down to the issues of my depression. Depression is something that doesn’t just go away. It’s a practice. It’s something that stays with you, I think through life. So you just have to learn to work with it. You have to learn to accept it. And it’s a part of me. It’s going to be a part of me and that’s OK.”

Wilkinson has opened up about her struggles before, telling TODAY in 2021 how she found herself at a crossroads after her divorce, leaning in to becoming a single mother and settling into a new career in real estate.

“I spent three years at war with myself to be here today,” she said.

She also said she “spent years in silence and loneliness” before working toward a new chapter.

“It was a very hard couple years of my life. I came out a whole different person. I feel like I walked through fire to get here today,” she said.